Whisper
by Procrastination Fairy
Summary: Her voice is a whisper only he can hear, and it's hauntingly beautiful, and everything is she says is just another reminder. Her existence is. Because after what he has done, she shouldn't exist.


He sits in his palace staring out the window at the moon that doesn't shine as brightly as before. He is king, and he is sad. He misses the world where he was normal and he wasn't doing things for legacy. He used to be able to see his friends (if he were to be honest, though, you would omit the –s) and not be watched. He could go to the arcade and tease—

'Are you still happy with your choice?'

Her voice is as solicitous as ever. It is a whisper only he can hear, a much unneeded change from her former, cheerful squeals at everything that delighted her. He unwillingly turns. It seems as if he is always unable to stop himself. This time she's wearing the princess dress. He's almost okay with that—for the longest time, the princess did seem like only a dream. If she were in senshi form, he would be reminded that it's his fault the world doesn't have the beautiful warrior Sailor Moon to protect them. He would be reminded of what he did to an innocent girl if she wore her school uniform.

"Go away," he groans. He doesn't want to hear her. She's disappointed in him; he knows, and she's always been able to know what's sore for him.

'But I'm not really here, am I? Thanks to you,' she adds in annoyance.

He actually looks at her. He pretends he can see the wall instead. "You were the moon princess. You had no right being here."

She sighs, and he wonders how she can do that when her lungs aren't connected to her mouth and neither of those pieces are anywhere near right now. It sickens him that he even thought of that. He should wonder how she can do a lot of things, but he remembers who she would've been if not for him. 'I thought I did enough to repay for the trespassing. I could've done more.'

"Shut up. Go away," he growls, thankful no guards were around to hear him.

'Do you regret it at all? Do you wish I was here? Mamo-chan—"

"Shut up!"

'Are you listening, Mamo-chan? Do you miss me? I loved you, and Endymion, I know you loved me. Do you love me now? Did you love me when you—'

"Go away, Usagi-Serenity-Sailor Moon! Whoever you are!"

Her ghost of a smile, so dead it doesn't even match her, tortures him as it appears. Her silvery hair only makes the image that much more haunting. 'It used to be Usako.'

He reaches for her hand. He isn't surprised when he doesn't feel anything.

'I am Cosmos, Mamoru. I will be back one day. The difference is if I will stay with you.'

She's gone, but only for today. He knows she'll return tomorrow. He hopes maybe he can look at Usako one more time. Maybe she won't make him feel as guilt-ridden as Serenity does. Maybe he'll actually be able to admit that he was never happy with his choice. Maybe he can pretend that they're together.

* * *

><p>'Does it bother you at all that you can sleep so peacefully when you should be thinking of me?'<p>

In other circumstances, he would've been happy to hear her voice first thing in the morning. But he doesn't want to half-hear a half-angered princess—or senshi, he notes when he turns over.

"It's the only place I can get away from you," he replies, hoping a more honest answer will ease her.

'Do you regret it? Do you wish you hadn't?'

He stares her straight in the eyes and tells himself he's looking out the window. They blend in with the sky anyway. "I wish you didn't have to be hurt."

She is suddenly somber and tugs on the skirt of her uniform. 'What did you do with the others?'

"They left." He pauses. He hasn't thought about the others in a while. His generals do. The others had mattered more to them anyway; her friends were only his friends by extension, and usually they didn't care much for him. He recalls the way they are spoken of. Sometimes it's fond; others, their names are cursed.

She says nothing else. His room doesn't of her perfume, her shampoo, her lotion, _her_—roses, cherry blossoms, and strawberries.

* * *

><p>He sits in his palace and stares out the window, wondering when he started waiting for her.<p>

"I am not happy," he says finally as he starts to wonder if she will come. "I never was. I regret it. I wish you were. I listened. I miss you. I loved you. I _love_ you. It does bother me. I wish you only had to be Usagi Tsukino and not Serenity. I wish you were only Usako." The words fill him with anguish greater than when she had left.

"She's not coming back. She's not that powerful," he is told.

He still waits to see her hair—her wonderful oh-so-distinctive hair—in the crowds.

**I wrote this in a while when I was really interesting in reading angst. For some reason, I feel you can relate to characters much easier in pieces like that. For those of you wondering what happened to Usagi, she was beheaded. The senshi left because they didn't want to stay without their leader.**


End file.
